Wide World of Pranks: Computer Pranks

Firefox: Prank Messages to Developers

I use Firefox a lot. I like it as a browser and for its extensible technology; but it tends to crash with some frequency. Maybe less than Internet Explorer, but like Wall Street or my sister, it still crashes from time to time.

Every time Firefox crashes on my Mac, a utility called the Mozilla Crash Reporter pops up prompting me to send in a detailed report of what happened so that Mozilla can fix bugs in Firefox.

The problem is that sometimes I don't really know what to say. I feel I should say something, but it's tough when I have no idea why it crashed.

Lately I have resorted to out-and-out fibbery and lies. Just because I have no real idea why it crashed, or what I was doing, doesn't mean I can't have a little fun. So I started to write any message that comes to mind when the crash reporter pops up. Here are some sad examples of what I sent to Mozilla.org.

Example 1: Baffle Them with Crazy Talk

I figure some good old fashioned crazy talk might get Firefox
engineers thinking, "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?" So I submitted this:

Trying to overthrow the universe. I think there is debris stuck in a Jeffries tube. You might want to go in there with a broom or something and jiggle it around a bit.

Example 2: The Drunken Apology

Every time I get into a confrontation with a drunk person who is trying to steal my bike, smear graffiti on my walls, or just rear ended my car, they always claim they were drunk, as if somehow that's an excuse for poor behavior. So for once I decided to try the same thing and I sent this:

Hey... look... I, I took that last corner way too fast, dude and I'm sorry. Look, your browser doesn't even have a scratch and I've been drinking. Could we just, you know, forget this happened?

Example 3: Piss off Apple:

Why limit this game to just Firefox developers? Apple engineers get bored as well! I figure QuickTime crashed because Apple doesn't engineer it to handle issues like my Web browsing habits, so here's my attempt to rile them:

I clicked on a video and QuickTime barfed out my hard drive and scared my cat. Now I have to take my cat back to the kitty psychologist just to get it to come back out of the closet. That's $50 an hour!

Nice going, Apple.

Example 4: By Golly, It's a Conspiracy!

I always love a good conspiracy theory, even when I know it's completely false. So I tried one with Firefox.

I heard there's a website that shows how Mozilla.org is secretly monitoring all of our Web viewing activity. I went to the site to see what was written and every time I go, Firefox automatically quits.

Explain that one!

Example 5: You Wanna Fight?

The crashes have continued, so now I have changed tactics again and I have resorted to telling Firefox developers that I know they are crashing my Web browser as a revenge tactic.

These crashes are a revenge tactic for what I wrote on my Web site, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I drink too much and then I write things.

Can’t we just get along?

Support the Troops
Hopefully you can come up with something just as ridiculous to send to
the engineers at Mozilla who are working on Firefox. It must be boring
to sit around all day, banging on a keyboard and writing code to save
the world from inferior Web browsers in the Browser wars.

We should do our part in the war effort and help the troops.

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