Wide World of Pranks: Restaurant Pranks

Pizza Delivery: Getting Even with Bad Tippers

We did a little investigative drinking with pizza delivery drivers to get the inside scoop on what happens to bad tippers.

These drivers may or may not have worked for Pagliacci Pizza in Seattle, Amici's Pizza in San Francisco, Domino's Pizza, Pizza Hut or even your local pizza delivery company. We only mention this so this article comes up when people search on the Web.

In many ways it's a miserable job because unbeknownst to most people, the pizza delivery guy is expecting a cash tip. A delivery driver makes about 50 cents on a pizza delivery on top or the minimum wage they get paid by the pizza company, so like it or not, they really do count on tips to get paid a decent wage. This is sad because it puts an expectation on the customer to give a tip. It isn't demanded, but the pizza company thinks you are going to tip. The driver thinks you are going to tip so even though you do not know it, you are expected to do it. If you don't tip, you get a pizza, the company gets paid and the driver gets screwed.

Most people actually tip. But there are some that do not tip. There are some customers that are very rude to drivers. No driver will mess with a big tipper, but few can be expected to tolerate someone who tips badly. Think about it, the driver is all alone in the car with your pizza. What could they do? Here are a few possibilities of what can happen to your pie:

Driver shows up late
If the driver is sent on two deliveries to the same neighborhood, the bad tipper always gets the last delivery and it's usually cold.

Driver spits on pie
You can easily spit on a pie and nobody will ever know.

Driver pees on pie
You'd never know it happens. Urine is salty. Pepperoni is salty. A few sprinkles of pee on the pie will never get noticed.

Driver touches pie
Some people are horrified if someone touches their food.

Driver flicks boogers on pie
Given a few minutes to heat up and blend in with the pie, you will never notice.

Driver stink fingers pie
How hard do you think it is for a guy to reach into his pants, scratch his wet smelly ass, then wipe his fingers along the crust?

There are two things you can do to ensure this never happens. You can not order delivery pizza or you can tip your driver a fair amount. It's your choice.

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