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More Pick-up Lines

Pick up Lines

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We haven't categorized these yet, so we put them here. I mean just because we are lazu, why should we deny you the pain of reading them?

Do you like, find me sexy?

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor
tomorrow morning.

[Tap woman on shoulder then point to your face] See this face? It's
leaving town in 5 minutes, be on it!!

My name's [your name here]. That's so you know what to scream.

My name's [your name here], but you can call me 'lover.'

Can I flirt with you?

[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?"]

Checking to see if you were made in heaven.


Checking to see if
you're the right size.

Can I flirt with you?

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

So... How am I doin'?

Did you say something?

How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

The first time is always the hardest.

Excuse me, are you on the pill?

Hi there. Do you swallow?

Wow! Are those real?

Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

Nice dress/pants, can I talk you out of it?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

I looked up the word 'beautiful' in the thesaurus today, and your name
was included.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a
pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

So, do you wanna see something really swell?

Do you take it up the ass?

I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

Is that a Tic-Tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Would you like to visit Tukwila with me?

Have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc in you?

you like some?

[Fart or belch loudly and turn to the person next to you and say.] Did
you say something?

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was
wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with *these* two fingers?
[holding up two fingers]

Obvious reply: No, why?

Because they're mine.

You know, one look at you and I knew I was through with 12 year olds.

Hi I'm drunk. And you are?

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

[Look at the person and say,] Well my quest is over. I have found the
perfection I was seeking.

You are like a fine cup of coffee. Warm, tasty, and a real eye opener.

I love that shirt! How many 'D' cells does it take to power it?

Help me! I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body!

You are my density. I mean, my destiny.

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Did you know that someone is making love every 60 seconds? Got a minute?

You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.

Do you sleep on your stomach?


Can I?

Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

Pull my finger.

If marrying me is out of the question, how about if we both go on the

Hey baby, let's go back to my place and get something straight between us.

You'll do.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you wanna go out for a pizza and hot passionate, erotic sex?

don't you like pizza?

Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas. Can I come
between the holidays?

[Use index finger to call someone over then say] I made you come with one
finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

Your underwear must be made out of Windex, because I can see myself in
them tonight.

They say love is a many splendored thing. Let's make some and find out.

Hi. I go down on the first about you?

[To a woman] Hey baby, can I tickle your belly from the inside?

Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?

Hi! Can I buy you a car?

Will you marry me and have my children?

Will you marry me?

What am I going to do with all of this cocaine?

Inheriting $80 million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

Hey let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you.

You know, your eyes would go great with my bedspread

Are you looking for Mr. Right? Or Mr. Right Now?

Chicks dig me because I wear colored underwear!

If I bought you lingerie for my birthday, would there be anything in it
for me?

Hi, I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you.

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

How did you achieve such a gaudy effect with only Avon cosmetics?

Do you believe in one night stands?

With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!

Hello Susie, your mummy couldn't make it this afternoon. She asked me to
pick you up and take you home. My that's a pretty dress...

I'm leaving this place - want to come with me?

Oooo mangoes! 2 for a buck!

Is it cold outside or are you smuggling in Tic Tacs?

Ever played leap frog naked?

I'll bet you ten bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

Sit on my face and let me get to nose you better!

I'm single!

I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck?

I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing
in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice back rub. Are the
straps too tight darling? How very, very tragic.

What winks and fucks like a tiger? [say this and then wink]

Ah, you'll do nicely.

You know what they say about beauty... it protects against all evil. With
you around I feel really safe!

You are hotter than the tailpipe of my car.

Mind if I fart?

Hi, my name is Wally.

Around you I feel even more light-headed and stupid than usual.

Excuse me, this is the non-smoking section and you happen to be on fire!

Do you know that 100 years ago I could have walked into this bar and give
the bar keep a cow and I would own you?

I don't want to be alone when I go to bed tonight, but I do when I wake up

You must be wearing moon pants because your butt is out of this world.

Hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina!

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

You know, I can see two tiny pictures of myself and there is one in each
of your eyes.

I was sitting here holding my cigarette when I realised I'd rather be
holding you.

I didn't know angels flew so low.

Say, do you believe in the hereafter? Because I was hoping maybe you'll
give me what I'm here after.

It doesn't get any better than this.

I am looking for someone with a good head on their shoulders. I just hate

Are you looking for followers?

'Do you have any raisins?'
"No I don't."
'You don't have any
raisins? Well then, how about a date?'

How do you pack in so much into so little?

[Diving pick-up line] Have you gone down lately?

Boy that Pat Buchanon sure is one righteous motherfucker!

You are the kind of person I want to send alimony checks.

Make love to me now you skanky git.

So what are you doing for the next 40 years?

Would you like to eventually own half my stuff?

We could go through the whole long process. You know dinner, courtship,
and marriage, or we could skip right to the affair.

We could go through the whole long process. You know dinner, courtship,
and marriage, or we could skip right to the counseling.

Would you like to help me with my self esteem?

With that body you should have a license to carry a concealed weapon.

You know, engineers are known for being really good at pulling

Your parents must have been engineers, because I like your design.

Your parents must have been architects, because you have a nice floor plan.

So what's your Sine?

I am a geek by day, but a love machine at night.

So uh, ... what um... are you, uh... doing on uhm... you know ... like on
Saturday night?

I bet monks that take a vows of silence would look at you and say, "nice

You know what I would like in you? Me.

You have a butt that doesn't quit.

Hey you're in my seat.

Hey would you like to go skinny dipping at the Holiday Inn?

Hi. I sell Amway.

You know I make quite a bit of money selling used cars.

So what are you doing for the next 40 years?

You must be proof that god™ takes pride in his work.

If you were the lead lemming I'd follow you anywhere.

Just one word; latex.

Gee your hair smells terrific.


Something smells funny. Is it your crotch?

Hey baby, Get with this! Iπm a real man.

Why have a Big Mac when you can have steak?

I have never seen a body like yours on a white woman before.

Hey, you're pretty.

Oh never mind, just forget it.

I'd like to see you in the light of the moon with your head thrown back
and your body on fire.


Have you ever been to my place? I have HBO...

Do you have any idea how sultry you are?

You'd look good in my Mercedes.

By any chance are you an Aquarius?

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I wouldn't mind decorating your interior!

Does the word "huge" mean anything to you?

I've got an oil painting by Rembrandt of you and I getting together.

If I said you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?


Didn't I see you on the cover of Cosmopolitan?

You're the spitting image of my dead girlfriend.

You know, looks aren't really important to me.

My buddies gave me $100 to get your panties. I'll split it with you.

You look a little tired. Why not come back to my place and lie down?

I have been watching you watching me.

With legs like that you must be a dancer.

Nice pants. Can I talk you out of them?

Didn't we go to different schools together?

Hi, my name is [your name here], how do you like me so far?

Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

So can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose? A guy has to
have his standards.

[If someone asks] "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"Do you have the

Hey baby, feel like getting lucky?

Your jewelry is fabulous. It would look great on my nightstand.

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

So, your face or mine?

Are you ready to go home yet?

You have nice breasts. Mind if I feel them?

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

I feel like I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

I'd look good on you.

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.

I would kill or die to make love to you.

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

Hi, can I buy you a car?

Fancy a fling?

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your heart?

You know what I like about you? My arms.


I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a
line? And are you dissapointed?

Why don't we finish this little conversation over drinks at my favorite
topless bar?

Um, why is your hair so big?

Did you make your own jacket? I mean, you an really tell it isn't off
the rack.

Hey, wanna come over to my place and play twister?

Are you into sucking toes? Because I have 11 of them.


Wowsers! that is one impressive zit you got brewing there on your cheek!

You remind me of my mom/dad, rest their soul.

Wanna see something scary?

Excuse me, but ... would you like to see my collection of curly nose hairs?

Boy I sure hate it when my mommy packs me baloney for lunch.

Pull my finger.

Can I try on your shoes?

So you wanna come over and shave my back?

My wife/husband just doesn't understand me.

I'm looking for a sturdy-type woman to bear my children and work my farm.

Bet you didn't know I can belch the alphabet.

My mom is picking me up in a half hour, would you like a ride home?

Wanna come back to my place? I have all the Loveboat episodes taped and
we could watch them together.

Don't you hate it when someone uses a cheesy pick-up line?

You look good enough to eat and I am always hungry

You are just one tall cool drink of water for the eyes.

You look like the kind of girl that has heard every line in the book, so
really, what's one more?

Are you ready to go home with me yet?

I am on fire! Can I run through your sprinkler?

I would love to give you a piece of my mind, but I was thinking maybe
something else first.

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Did it hurt much when you fell out of heaven?

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your
clothes on?

You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

I am conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced nipples?

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was
wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

[sniff] Mmmmmm, you smell wet.


I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting.
Let's meet sometime.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

You have the ass of a great artist.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.


Let's take a shower together — you kind of smell.

I've got a deep thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! Oh I thought
you knew...

[Stare at her breasts and say,] Cold out isn't it?

I need your help. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?

Since we shouldn't waste things in this day and age what you say we use
these condoms in my pocket before they expire?

Would you like to see me naked?

If your parents hadn't met I would be very unhappy right now.

Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you may as well be there.

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job?


Well lets do lunch soon!

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation?


Lets go and talk!

The person I usually bang has a shirt just like yours!

You know, the person I'd drop for you is blonde, too!

Do you eat meat?

I couldn't help noticing that you were a chick, and, you know, chicks
dig me...

Didn't I meet you in prison?

So do you wanna get up early tomorrow and go fishing or something?

That dress is very becoming on you. Of course I could be cumming on you

Wanna go home to my place and do some magic?


Yeah, first we
fuck, then you disappear!

Baby come bone me in the bathroom.

Mmmmmmmm ... breasts .... [droooool]

You know I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I sure did wake
up with a few!

I don't know if your really good looking or if it is just the beer goggles.

Just talking to you makes me point north.

You must be from Tennessee, because you are the only 10 I see.

You don't remember me to you? — Come on, remember me? I was the
guy in your dreams last night.

If you like music then you should check out the great stereo in my car.

Excuse me, am I dreaming or is that semen in your hair?

Wanna be my love buffet? I'll lay you out on the table and take what I

I can make you feel like I've never had sex before.

My dick is small, but I am really good with my tongue.

Don't worry, I'm not trying to pick you up, you're too heavy.

You are too pretty for words.

I may have a small dick, but I like to think I am hung like a bull. A

The best part of me is covered up.

I'm looking for a you want to be my friend?

Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible".

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

I know I wouldn't mind getting to know you better.

I wouldn't mind dating you.

Excuse me, I'm lost. Which way is it to your house?

Hi, I'm new in town. Which way is it to your house?

What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

Do you want to come back to my place and pet my cat?

You have the ass of a great artist.

Are you ready to go home now?

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

I'd look good on you.

I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

It's always good for you to see me again.

Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?

Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a
pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

Can I please be your slave tonight?

You should be someone's wife.

You know, you're very easy on the eyes.

You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.

Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Would you like to see my boa constrictor?

I'm drunk.

Hi, my friends call me Creepy.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

I just threw up.

I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

If he doesn't show up, I'll be right over here.

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of
interesting...Let's meet sometime.

God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.

Would you like someone to mix with your drink?

Be unique and different, say yes.

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book ...
So what's one more??

Whatever you do, don't ever cut that silky hair of yours!

Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

You smell wet. Let's party.

May I end this sentence with a proposition?

I've got an itch, honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.

If I was Elvis, would you screw me?

I want to thank you for just being you.

I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!

If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.

Don't you know me from somewhere?

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought
you knew.

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room"
and the grand prize is a night with me!

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new Home Artificial Insemination Kit?

Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy.

I can get you off Santa's naughty list.

I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working by myself.


I'm sorry for staring at you, but you look very much like someone I
used to date.

Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

Excuse me, do you have change for a $100 bill?

Excuse me, but weren't we blissfully married in a past life?

The only reason that I would kick you out of be would be to fuck you on
the floor.

Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.

You have gorgeous hair. But it'd be even better brushing against my

That's a nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you're wearing.

What nice legs you've got. I wouldn't mind wearing them as a belt, or
neck tie if you prefer.

Just where do those legs of yours end?

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

You're the spitting image of my dead girlfriend.

You MUST have a nice personality.

Does my breath smell okay?

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant
you right here!

You can call me milk, because I'll do your body good.

Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

You must be the goddess of fast food. One look at you and I know I want
Jack in the Box.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light
switch away.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking
to you.

So baby, what's your sign and when do you have to get up in the
morning, because if it's before I wake up all by myself we might as well
just call it off right now.

Hey baby did you know that I have a velvet tongue?

So what time should I wake you in the morning.

So, would you like to share an ashtray?

Are you currently involved, or are you keeping your options open?

Hey, you're pretty.

Wow, nice ass!

Spend one evening with me and I will give you something you will never
forget ... herpes.

Didn't I see you naked at last year's Burningman?

Didn't I see you naked at last year's church picnic?

They say sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting

So are you getting any?

I could sit and listen to you talk for hours.

Some people would disagree, but I feel the most important part about making love is the cuddling.

The sound of your voice would makes me want to perk up and listen

They just upped the limit on my VISA card. Wanna go shopping?

Does the hair and the rug match?

[Whip out your manhood and ask]

Can I take your temperature?

If you don't put out on the first date, can we make this the last date?

I have a 12 inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.

[Intentionally trip and say]

I'm tripping for you baby!

I haven't had an orgasm in two years. Help me.

I'm a gynecologist. Wanna smell my finger?

My cat is pretty cuddly, but I want to see how your kitty looks.

[Pull up to the person in a car and say]

Get in.

You would look prettier if you were next to me.

If you were with me I would make every day Christmas and every night the Fourth of July.

I have been watching you all night and now my underwear is soup.

Didn't we meet at the V.D. clinic?

I would go to the end of the world for you just as long as you were there with me.

Hey cutie, how about you and I hitting the hot spots?

If I could see you naked, I would die happy.

I can tell that you want me.

I am here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.

Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.

Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?

You lookin' to score?

So what do you do for a living?

After seeing you I know what I want for dinner.

Are you a cowboy? Because you're the hoss.

It's time for you to return to the arboretum with all the other
beautiful roses.

Call me a mime because your beauty holds me speechless.

I'm sorry that you have to carry the burden of being the most beautiful
woman in the world.

You must be eating your Milk bones because your teeth are so clean and white.

If I had a grain of sand for every time I thought of you, I could walk on
my beach forever!

So tell me, do you want a big wedding or would you like to elope?

Why not come back to my bedroom and I'll fill you in on a few things?

Your looks are like a crescent wrench. Every time I look at you my nuts
tighten up.

I am feeling a little chilly. Mind if I use your legs as earmuffs?

Your eyes are an endless sea that seems to have no depths and no limits
just waiting to be discovered.

If water was beauty you would be an endless ocean waiting to be explored.

Wanna arm wrestle?

Your body is like velvet and my tongue is like a paintbrush that seeks to
paint a bullfighter on your canvas.

If God made anything finer than a redhead he must have kept it for himself!

If there's anything I could do for you or, more to the point, to you,
just let me know.

I'm lost, take me home and love me.

I think I'm smitten.

You know, I have a very comfortable bed. Would you like to go slip into
something a little more comfortable?

Some say a rose is a symbol of nature's perfection, but compared to you
it's just dust in the wind.

The good Lord must be very upset tonite because I see he's missing an


To look in your eyes is to see beauty of the purest form.

Hey baby, can I get you some fries to go with that shake?

Excuse me, will you marry me? Or was that too forward? How about a date
with me?

You smell good, I wonder what you taste like!

You know, if I was in your bed, you would never kick me out.


What's a nice girl like you doing without me inside you?

Can I have a quarter, so I can call you later?

You look so good that when I saw you all I could think was

Hi, my name is Chance — do I have one?

If you were a swing set I would take you apart and see how many screws I
could get out of you.

[walk up with a rose and say]

I just wanted to show this rose how
beautiful you are.

Are those tits real??

Do you think if I wore your glasses I could see you home?

Would you do me a favor and assist me in the men's room? My doctor says
I shouldn't lift heavy weights unassisted.

What's your favorite flavor of wood?

Weren't we married in a previous life?

Your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas. Mind if I
come between the holidays?

Are you going to stand there and look beautiful or are you going to dance
with me?

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

If a farmer really wanted to make a great cash crop, they would grow a
field of you.

Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!

You're the hottest thing this side of Hades.

I would like to propose a trade — you give me your number, and I
will give you a call.

You have needs. I have needs. There is no reason for both of us to be
needy tonight.

You look like a stack of over-due library books, because you've got fine
written all over you.

Just looking at you I can tell you would be trouble, but you would be
worth it.

Your place or the men's room?

I bet you a blow job my dick won't fit into your mouth.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

Your face or mine?

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new Home Artificial Insemination Kit?

Excuse me, Miss, would you give head to perfect stranger? Then allow me
to introduce myself.

I want to put my face between your breasts and make motorcycle noises.

Is that really your hair?

You remind me of a woman I used to date.

Do you think I deserve a break today?

Bet I can out drink you.

I play the field, and I think I just hit a home run with you.

Do you want to spin my dreidle?


I've got Ramses in my wallet that wants to put you into slavery.

My sign is Ramses, what's yours?

Wanna come back to my place and do something you'll repress in
memory later?

I cannot think of a pick-up line. Tell me the words so that I can
unlock the gate to your heart.

Heaven must be missing an angel, because there is one standing in
front of me right now.

[motion for them to come to you with one finger]

If I can make you
come with this finger, imagine what I could do wish all five!

It must be a sin to look as good as you.

You look so beautiful I wish that I could plant a whole field full of
you so I could walk down the rows and admire the splendor.


Are you in the mood for swimming? because I was hoping I could show
you my breast stroke.

It is my birthday today. I would like to pretend I am a cake and you
are the candles.

Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?

Since women never seem to like nice guys, consider me an asshole.

If you were my portch I would take out all of your nails and screw you.

I noticed you noticed me and I wanted you to know I noticed you
noticing that I noticed you.

Wanna do it with a fat guy?

Lets enjoy the traditional act of getting it on.

You can be on top.

Wanna get it on?

You make my doggie stand up and beg for biscuits.

You look hotter than Hades.

There is one way to prove to your friends that looks and money are not
everything. You could go out with me.

You rock!

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

Susie, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Wanna play Quake at my house?

Who wants to fuck me?

You bring out the savage in me.

Excuse me, can I drink your bathwater after you spend a long day in the

[ pull up in a truck ] Get in the truck, woman!

Mind if I try bouncing a quarter into your cleavage?

Bite me ... please.

Can I flirt with you?

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