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Elitist Animal Rights Activists Suck!

October 03, 2007

Recently some well meaning friends berated me in an attempt to get me to save some beagles destined for the meat pile.

These beagles were being used for animal testing and some well intentioned activist was attempting to guilt me and other friends into taking a beagle so it didn't have to die. It seems that if the beagle could find a home, it would be allowed to live. If not, I guess it was destined for a dog food factory or something. I don't know. Nobody really mentioned where the dead beagles go.

Come to think of it, what does PETA do with the tens of thousands of animals it kills every year?

Several things really bug me about these stupid beagles. First of all, if an animal testing lab is going to test animals, I think it should be the one looking for homes for beagles used in animal experimentation, not animal rights activists. I get enough guilt from well intentioned alcoholic friends that twist my arm to join them at a bar. I don't need more guilt heaped on about a four-legged drool factory people want me to live with for the next 7-10 years. I'll be lucky if my landlord doesn't evict me by the end of the month for my never ending parade of friends that stop by and sleep on my couch. I think a beagle might just make them snap.

The other thing I really hate are my friends who I have come to realize are a bunch of elitist animal saving snobs.

They get all misty-eyed at the thought a beagle might end up homeless or dead. However, I have never seen these morons get up in arms about another homeless animal problem that plagues almost every American city. I am talking about the homeless sewer rat problem.

It doesn't matter if you live in a city like Seattle, San Francisco or even a spotless clean place like New York, America has a huge homeless sewer rat problem. These furry critters don't have the big floppy ears like a beagle or a basset hound, but that doesn't make their plight any less heartbreaking.

Tonight, countless rats that will go to bed without a proper dinner. They don't get free medical care. They don't get food stamps. They don't even get little blocks of government cheese. Through discrimination, they are denied jobs and housing. Few sewer rat will ever have their dreams come true. Dreams like owning their own home, being a head chef at a French restaurant, or working as a councilman at a city hall.

Tonight as you eat your fast food at your own computer, think about how tonight across America and across the globe, millions of rats will go to bed hungry without a full tummy. Some might find garbage to chew on or even the toes of the homeless. Would you want to chew on the toes of the homeless?

Please, for the sake of humanity, open your doors to a homeless rat and lets make this world a good place for rodent-kind.

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