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Those Poor Boy Scouts

October 08, 2005

It's Scouting time once again. The time of the year the Boy Scouts send little boys around their neighborhoods to sell quite possibly the worst candy in existence.

I just had one of these kids at my door. He seemed like a nice kid. He was a bit shy, but I sensed he was a good guy. I decided I would buy something from him. But in some absolutely stupid sales approach, the Boy Scouts didn't send him out with boxes of stuff like the Girl Scouts did, they sent him out with a brochure. Worse, the candy was so bad, I really couldn't find anything I could eat or want to eat.

Why is this? Why does this happen every year? I bet you had no idea the Boy Scouts even sold stuff. Everyone knows about the Girl Scouts and their cookies. How come nobody knows about Boy Scout Toffee Peanuts? Because they suck, thats why. If you go to the Web site for the Girl Scouts of America, you find slogans with bold words like, "A Strategy for Success". Go to the Boy Scouts Web site and not only do you find no slogans, no feeling of excitement, but you get the feeling if their was a slogan it would be, "A Strategy of Failure and Disappointment".

Not only is the Boy Scout candy overpriced and by overpriced I mean $30, $50, $80, but it's overpriced for the value of the items and they kind of suck. Caramel popcorn was available at $8. Girl Scouts in comparison have $3.00 cookies. The cookies go quick. This kid hadn't sold a single thing!

Why is it the Boy Scouts continually saddle their troops with selling lousy merchandise to support the troop? When I was a kid, it was the toffee peanuts. I commented about this to the boys father who was standing a discreet distance away. He rolled his eyes and mentioned how he had to sell greeting cards. One wonders if clean underwear was ever discussed as a Boy Scout fundraising idea.

I mean come on, THESE ARE BOYS! How about selling something boys might be interested in? With the Girl Scouts, you have the Girl/Cookie angle. Girls can bake cookies. It's a natural. So what if the Boy Scouts did the same thing? Find something that screams boys. As an example, how about selling Pre-paid iTunes downloads? Or maybe Boy Scout Pizzas? Partner with Pizza Hut to offer an incredible deal where you get a complete pizza party with 5 large pies for say, $30. Pizza Hut makes money, sells product, gets a chance for more sales and pizza is something boys can get behind. The boys could hand out little plastic cards that can be activated with a phone call and suddenly, money has changed hands. The boy makes a sale and the Troop has money it can use for it's Scouting activities. After all, these aren't just Boy Scouts, they are future sales people of America. Future Corporate Executives. These boys need to have the taste of success.

You would think that after years of getting their butts handed to them in cookie campaign after cookie campaign, the Boy Scouts might be tired of being beaten by the Girl Scouts. It's some sort of weird mystery why the Boy Scouts are so dysfunctional.

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