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Malcolm in the Middle at Burning Man

October 03, 2005

The cast of Malcolm in the Middle went to Burning Man for their season opener. Once again, the truth is weirder than the fiction.

Here is a rundown of a few points from the show which were not like Burning Man.

The Couple Dressed as a Nun and a Bishop
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are far weirder and way, way more fun.

Moop on the ground
There is straw laying all over the ground. This would never be allowed since hay bales are banned.

There is nothing alive on the dry lake bed.

Larry Harvey (the guy spraying Stanley)
This unnamed Larry Harvey is way more like Larry Harvey should be than Larry Harvey is. I blame this on the 5,000 people who come up to Larry every year to tell him how Burning Man changed their lives. Do they leave it at that? No, they tell the whole story about the first time they did acid, the person they met, the child that resulted, the life change. Good gravy people, leave him alone! You're cutting into his drinking time.

Bowling Ball Sized Rocks
There are no bowling ball sized rocks on the Playa. They were all used by catapults last year.

Guy in the Cow Skull
Java Cow is way cooler than this guy, because he serves coffee.

The Shaman Woman
There are far weirder and more fun people than this woman. Although amazingly enough, a lot of them look exactly like Roseanne Arquette.

Malcolm Gets Laid at Burning Man
Anyone can get laid at Burning Man and most relationships last almost as long.

Dumping Center
There is no RV dumping center at Burning Man. You have to pack out your potty.

Only Losers Go to Burning Man with your Parents
Most of the kids Burning Man are more responsible than their parents.

Random Strangers are Chosen to Light the Man
The truth is, people pay to be in the Inner Circle. One person who buys a $300.00 ticket is chosen at random to light the man.

Reese Doesn't Want to Light the Man
Camaan, Reese would do anything to light the Man. And an RV, now that I think about it.

Trumpet Strumpets
Critical Tits is far more impressive and fun.

I'll Keep the RV Clean
Never has a sentiment been heavily expressed and never accomplished.

In Conclusion:
In all, I think the show did a good job. This show is consistently funny and I hope it has a good run on Fox.

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