Living the Wally Lifestyle

Save The Chickens

October 03, 1998

Somehow Washington state has become a hotbed for animal rights activists. First they were trying to save the whales and now they are trying to save the chickens.

Thats right the chickens

The Animal Liberation Front recently broke into a chicken farm near Burlington and freed 11 chickens that were in service laying eggs. The ALF broke into a farm and armed with bolt cutters and cans of spray paint, members of the ALF chicken liberation forces managed to spray paint their liberation messages, snip through the chicken wire of about 11 cages and liberated the chickens so that they may be free to live a full and happy chicken life.

11 chickens out of the roughly 50,000 I could see from the video they either left at the scene or sent to a nearby TV station. Although they were wearing all black with gloves and ski masks, the video clearly shows one thing. These people are complete idiots. Not only does the video clearly show their exact body size (all one has to do is calculate the size of the standard chicken cage), it also shows their approximate height, vocal patterns, weight, age, eye color, hair color and skin tone of the protesters. I do not know why they bothered to wear the masks because the only thing they didn't do is disclose their phone numbers. I might also add the police have the fingerprints of whoever made the video.

The end result of their terrorist act (I am sure they would appreciate being called terrorists because that would be like, you know, cool), about 11 chickens have been liberated to caring homes. At least that is what their press release says. A press release that I might add is so full of unintentional humor that I was falling out of my chair from laughter.

Perhaps the Animal Liberation Front will only be happy when thundering herds of chickens are once again cackling across the plains. The Great Chicken (genus bock ba-bock bock bock) once numbering in the thousands in the wild. Now their numbers have dwindled and are mostly found contained on the expansive Frank Purdue Reserve in Arkansas and smaller private refuges in other states. Due to loss of habitats, the Great Chicken may never be able to wander the plains as they did so long ago.

After watching snippets of the video on the evening news I really wanted to meet these people. I wanted to talk to them and bask in their stupidity and listen to them espouse on their philosophy on how saving 11 chickens out of thousands was somehow going to drive a steak through the heart of the chicken industry. I would love to hear how this action which amounts to a louse crawling on the back of an elephant is going to have any effect on the world they want to change. All they did was piss off the general manager of Broadview Farms.

Although I find humor in the freeing of 11 chickens, I do not find other activities that the ALF has been undertaking to be very funny. There has also been a series of suspicious attacks in this state. The target of these attacks are usually farms that deal in animals in one way or another.

They list incident after incident that they take credit for doing as if it is something to be proud of doing. One article reprinted without permission from the Chicago Tribune talks about an attack staged in 1997 on the Frye Mink Farm near Crystal Lake, IL where animal rights activists freed 4,300 minks from a nearby farm. The animals were recovered but 300 died due to stress or disease shortly after the attack. Why is it OK in the minds of the ALF for animals to die due to neglect because they are ill-suited to live in their surroundings?

In an article by the BBC about a series of attacks on a mink farm in the UK, the terrorist actions of releasing thousands of minks. The RSPCA is assisting in the operation to round up the animals. Its spokesman said the release was "extremely foolhardy". The minks were released an environmentally sensitive area which has had a devastating effect on local wildlife and pets, not to mention the minks themselves. Although minks are effective predators in the wild, these minks were hand raised that are not used to the wild. Thousands of minks have not survived and have ended up dead. Those that survive will become a predator that is outside of the normal food chain that exists in the area which could lead to an environmental disaster.

The ALF may think they are practicing animal rights but it is closer to environmental terrorism and animal cruelty. The majority of the animals are still ending up dead and they are suffering far worse than what would happen to them on a mink farm. A mink farm is no different than a cattle ranch. In both operations the pelts are harvested for consumer products. Cattle are processed into beef products and the remains are rendered into pet food or other uses. The same goes with minks.

I do not want to sound as if I am in favor of mink farms. I vote with my pocketbook and I do not buy fur. However, many people I have met that are into animal rights also wear leather which I find strange.

Why is it OK to spray blood on someone wearing fur when you are wearing leather shoes?

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