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Another Eye Doctor Appointment

June 17, 1997

I had another lovely appointment with my optometrist today. I walked in and I told her that I was sorry I was late for my appointment, but I was delayed due to the fact that I had squirted hair spray in my eye. She tried to contain herself from laughing, but to no avail.

She said, "I promised myself I would not laugh at you, but you have been in the office 5 seconds and I am already laughing." Yeah, laugh away at my expense. The sad thing is that I'm paying for this.

We then got down to the business at hand which is explaining how I washed a contact lens down the sink, and to discuss the eye infection I just developed that was complete with bumps on the old eyeball and extra eye boogers. She asked me why I wasn't using the towel method to put in my contacts. The towel method for those of you with perfect vision is where you lay a clean towel across the sink basin so the contact never comes in contact with the toothpaste, shaving cream, soap residue or hair spray that might be in the sink basin. that doesn't stop the contact from interacting with the hair spray currently shellacking my eyeball, but that should not have been there in the first place.


I explained that I was using the towel method, but I had to remove the towel to wash my hands to get the alcohol-based cleaning solution off of my hands before I contemplated placing the contact in my eye. One go around with this stuff was more than enough to make me a bit more cautious. It was at this moment and time that I knocked the case into the sink causing one of the containers to spill over and sending my less-than-a-week-old contact lens on a watery journey to the Puget Sound.

I told her that I figured I was her biggest problem customer and I wondered when she was going to pawn me off to another doctor. She told me that I was far from her worst customer, which means this doctor must live in a professional hell. She told me that she has an ex boyfriend that she dated back in eye doc school, but broke up before they graduated (some school in Grenada or something). By coincidence, they both moved to Seattle and set up a practice. They both coincidentally moved to the same neighborhood and own the same car. Spooky. I told her he is stalking her, but she says he never calls.

She told me that when she has a real problem customer, she sends them to a doctor she didn't like in eye doc school. She would love to send the real winners to her ex, but she doesn't quite have the nerve. Although the way things are progressing between the two of us, I might be in contention for the first patient award. All in all it was a typical visit.

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