Living the Wally Lifestyle
I want Terri Schiavo to live.
March 29, 2005
I have decided that I want Terri Schiavo to live. Every day she stays alive will drive the "pro-life" Christians into a frenzy. A month from now, I want Terri to still be hanging on giving these Christians hope. Then about two months from now, I want her eyes to snap open and to be awake. I want the Hospice to call her husband and have him rush over to the bedside and look in horror. Despite his best efforts, Terri is alive!
I want an elated nurse to cry as she holds her hand and say, "I have been praying to god that Terri would survive and look! She's alive!"
Terri would open her lips and in a horse, cracked whisper of a feeble voice, I want her to utter these words, "I ... I (sigh) ... I am ...hngryyy..."
The nurse, a bit startled, leans down to press her ear against her lips to better hear the voice that has been silenced all these years. "Tell me again Terri, what did you say?"
Terri would focus her eyes and realize there is a head in front of her waiting for her as she hoped so that her message would be heard. "(sigh) I ... said ... I ... was ... hungry!" Then launch up, bite into the nurses skull and feast on her delicious, fatty, moist brains.
Her husband Michael would be horrified. The one thing he tried for 15 years to prevent was happening!
By now the crowd outside holding the tearful vigil for poor Terri has had word she is now alive! They quickly overwhelm the police holding them back from the hospice and rush to the room of Terri to witness the miracle. The scene they would see before them would be both wondrous and ghastly. A weakened Terri was alive, but her face was covered with blood and bits of brains. At the side of the bed was the fresh corpse of the nurse with a huge gaping hole in the right side of her cranium.
The shock and awe of this event would grip the protesters. They would be silent, unable to think of what to say. After an uncomfortable silence, one of the protesters would ask, "whaa ... whaa happened?"
"Well," Michael would say with a heavy sigh, "it works out like this. Terri can be saved if she is allowed to feast on the brains of Christian who prayed for her to live. Who among you will step forward and save my wife?"
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