Contact me. No better yet, don't contact me. Just go into my account and start reversing fees. Just look up my name, you know how to do that already. I'm not asking you to do anything illegal, just reverse some fees. There's plenty to reverse thanks to a painful lesson I have learned from the company.
If you are unable to do that, do me another favor.
Break something.
It could be an accident. You put too much toilet paper in the toilet or maybe you accidentally jammed the safe open or closed. Maybe a random terminal gets fried. Or maybe you just trip and accidentally hammer out the display in the ATM. Or maybe you glue it shut, jam the locks, knock power out on a mainframe server so they have to spend all day rebuilding it.
The bank likes to nickel and dime me on charges and now I am looking for ways to do the exact same thing back to them for a while.
