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The Passion of Christ: What really happened

April 02, 2004

I know this is hard to believe in this age where people are trying to book tickets to Middle Earth thinking it was a real place, but here is what happened. OK, I have it on good authority that the whole movie was digitally enhanced. There's just no way that could have happened. the way it went down.

Here's what happened.

Jesus had way too much to drink at the last supper. the Roman cops pulled him over because they got a tip off from someone at the restaurant that he was trashed when he left. They found he was DUI, so they arrested him, he was found guilty and had to do jail time and community service.

That's all.

The rest of it was spin from the Catholic Church. Yeah, the judge crucified him alright because it was his third offense that year alone!

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