I now have detailed instructions on how to get banned from Freecycle.
Freecycle is a great grassroots movement which allows people in a town to set up a mailing list that allow you to post items you want to acquire or dispose of. For instance, lets say you have a lawnmower you don't need. Post it onto Freecycle and minutes later someone will most likely ask for it. It's free and it works.
Last week I saved the world a number of times from sudden emergency calamities and by Friday I was feeling a little bit cheeky and cocky. So I thought what my life really needed was an electric donkey bottom biter. So I posted a message to the Freecycle list:
subject: WANTED: Electric Donkey Bottom Biter
I am looking for an electric donkey bottom biter.
I prefer one that is unused or at least not very used.
Will take 120 volt or 12 volt DC.
Please e-mail me details or send me a picture.
I had a good laugh and I figured other Monty Python fans would get a chuckle as well, but I decided to take it one more level.
On Freecycle, you are supposed to post when an item is taken. So I immediately fired off this note:
subject: FOUND: Electric Donkey Bottom Biter
Wow! That was quick!
Thanks!!
I LOVE THIS LIST!!
So then the messages started flooding in. All of them personal replies:
From: "Stuart" weirdo
From: "Keith" Yeah, but now you've got to satisfy our curiosity and tell us what it is.
From: "Sylvana" What in the world is this item? I may want one too? lol!
From: "Sylvana" ... again I am serious, I want to know what this is...I have a
special interest that makes me curious.
Please do tell.
Thanks, Sylvana
I guess there are very few Monthy Python fans on Freecycle.
Then the tone started changing:
From: "Sean McClintock" People on this list (administrator included) are pretty sensitive about spam/jokes. I wouldn't pull any more shit like this if you want to stay on the list. The admin will ban you pretty quickly.
Sean ought to put out his own freecycle ad. "Wanted: someone to remove the big chunk of oak up my ass."
Then the party pooper himself, Sean Lamont, posted this to the Freecycle list:
From: "Sean T. Lamont" I'm never precisely sure when you're talking shit or not.
If that's an insult, it sounds very british...
Which annoyed someone who had to post this to the list:
From: "Flifer" If this is the kind of language I'm going to see on this list, I'm out of here.
Which brought this response from the admin:
From: "David Ruggiero"
Okay, both you guys, cut the crap.
Wally, you're trying to be cute, but it's just annoying the 900+ people on the list to no purpose other than to show everyone you're usual I-am-such-a-cool-dood routine. Give it up.
Sean, this list is supposed to be appropriate for all ages. No matter how much a dork Wally is being, you don't need to spam every single person with your feelings about that, and you certainly don't need to use profanity in doing so.
I've nuked all of of your recent postings. Freecycle is a "two-strikes, you're out", and at this you've now both used up a strike each. Take it to heart.
Forgive the hard tone but I know both of you guys should know better.
-David / co-mod
"I-am-such-a-cool-dood routine"?? Well, I might be, but only because I just live life. I never became cool, I just did fun things that I enjoy and then suddenly it's a routine? OK.
I told David to go ahead and ban me.
Now the messages freecyle have stopped and I think I have been banned. This really sucks because I have a bunch of things I want to get rid that I don't use anymore.
