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The poop on coloring poop

March 13, 2004

I found that if you drink a grape Slice or four of them in one sitting, your poop could turn green.

This gave me great insight on making poop more than just a toilet ritual, I could turn it into an art form.

For instance, if you eat a bag full of Oreos with the next brace of grape Slice, you will find that the black food coloring in the Oreos will overpower the green and you'll have black poop instead.

Now that we have established how to get black and green in your feces, lets work on adding texture. Your poop chute is always going to pump out a turd with the basic shape of the die it has available to extrude from. If you can hold a small star shaped cookie cutter up to your ass, you can poop out long stars.

How Trance!

Next try ingesting a large quantity of prismatic glitter. Its made out of mylar, so it should pass through the digestive tract with no problem. Especially once you have irritated the crap out of it with all those bags of Oreos and the case of grape Slice. This will give your star shaped poo some nice trancey flash. Add in some oonse, oonse, oonse beat and you have all the makings of a very fecal rave.

In fact, that's what you should call it, fecal rave. If you go for trance, I recommend Epic over Progressive. I think you should go for, "Castles in the Sky" for your sculpting music.

Give me a full report on your poogress.

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