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The terrorists have already won

March 21, 2004

I am here to tell you the terrorists have already won. The problem is that we have been identifying the terrorists as Islamic extremists or crazy American nutjobs. Those aren't terrorists, those are just angry people who have been pissed on and they are reacting.

No my friends, the real terrorists are the management staff of AT&T Wireless. They most likely have cells operating in other big corporations around the world. I definitely see evidence of terrorists working at Bank of America. But I am here to talk about he terrorist cell working for AT&T Wireless.

At AT&T Wireless, you can walk into a store and within 10 minutes you can walk out with a new phone and a new phone number. It is that easy. You can even pay with cash. But if you want to walk into that same store to have them take a payment on the bill, you absolutely cannot do this. There is no option. None.

But if you call AT&T customer service, they will tell you that you can make a payment. They have told me this three times on three separate occasions. "Oh sure", they say, "go into a store and make a payment. We're happy to help you."

Does this make sense to anyone?

Well, in this age of credit and debit cards, this should be no problem. You can call up and make a payment with a credit card over the phone, right? So what if I am over my credit limit? Well you can walk into your bank and make a payment so you can pay your outstanding balance down to a point you can make a payment with AT&T. Except that there is not a single credit card company that posts a payment immediately. They take out the payment immediately, but they take time posting payments and credits.

However, AT&T does have other options. You can walk into a Western Union and make a payment. It costs $12.95, as long as you have your account number, the routing number, the state, the city and other details I might have missed.

I can't think of a valid business reason you would have such a stupid policy. What better place to pay your bill than the place where they sell the newest phones? What better place to wrangle your customers into a new phone plan?

The terrorists have won. They plan on slowly killing us all through service fees and aneurysms from pointless stupid stressful hoops they set up for us all to jump through.

Bastards.


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