Recently someone posted a link to a modification some kid did with the brand new Apple Power Macintosh G5 with dual processors his parents gave him for Christmas. He wasn't a Mac user, he didn't have any software, but he liked the G5's brushed aluminum case. So he decided what he would do is gut the G5, put his old Dell motherboard in the case and upgrade the processor to a $400.00 2.2 GHz AMD Athlon XP processor.
Here's a link to the Web site: http://overclockers.com/tips1133/
If you are a Mac user, you are going to be sick.
If you are a PC user, you might find this funny, but in a moment, you are about to be sick.
Recently someone posted a link to a modification some kid did with the brand new Apple Power Macintosh G5 with dual processors his parents gave him for Christmas. He wasn't a Mac user, he didn't have any software, but he liked the G5's brushed aluminum case. So he decided what he would do is gut the G5, put his old Dell motherboard in the case and upgrade the processor to a $400.00 2.2 GHz AMD Athlon XP processor.
Here's a link to the Web site: http://overclockers.com/tips1133/
If you are a Mac user, you are going to be sick.
If you are a PC user, you might find this funny, but in a moment, you are about to be sick.
The computer when purchased was purchased by his parents, a dual processor 2 GHz G5 with 2 GB of RAM, 250 GB HD, DVD burner and a great video card would sell for around $4500. For that kind of money, he would have been able to get a brand new Dell Precision 650 server with dual 2.8 GHz processors, 2 GB of RAM, a 200 GB hard drive and a screaming fast video card for about the same price.
Instead, after spending around $5000, he has the equivalent of a $400 Dell computer.
With no warranty.
And no legal software I might add.
Many people consider the Apple dual Processor G5 to be one of the fastest personal computers on the planet. In fact, it's faster than any Dell personal computer. The configuration quoted above is actually a Dell workstation and even the dual 3 GHz Xenon processor system they sell (for over $1500 more) is still slower than the G5 listed above. Whether the fact that the G5 is the fastest or second fastest is up to debate, but the point is, the computer is damn fast. In fact, it is so fast that if you took 1100 of them and tied them together, you would have the 3rd fastest known supercomputer on the planet. In fact, that is exactly what Virginia Tech Institute did this fall to much fanfare.
If you are a PC user and that doesn't make you sick, you are not a tech head and none of this makes sense anyway.
The reason he didn't just tell his parents he wanted a Dell, (which is what wanted), is that his parents really wanted him to have the computer. Since they were computer illiterate, he kept the case, gutted it, installed the PC hardware and created a FrankenPC.
Most of the Mac users I know think this kid is an idiot. Most of the PC users I have talked to know this kid is an idiot. Several have e-mailed him and told him he is an idiot, but I don't know if I want to waste my time. Instead, I wanted to e-mail his parents. Here is the bogus letter open letter I would send:
Dear Dumbass Senior,
I just read about your son Andy's recent project where he converted the perfectly good $4500 Apple G5 computer you gave him into a $400 Dell computer. Sir, I am sorry to report that your son is a stupidhead. You bought him what is widely considered the fastest consumer computer in the world. It's also one of the most striking computers you could find.
So what does he do?
He gutted it and turned this $4500 gift into a $400 computer, complete with glowing neon!
In case you are perhaps not computer literate, let me put this in other terms you might understand.
Imagine you, the nice supporting father, purchased your brain dead son a $47,000 Mercedes ML500 SUV because you wanted him to have a nice, safe car. Now imagine your shock if knucklehead gutted the Benz and replaced it with a $18,000 Kia Sedona because he already had a KIA key fob.
You might think he was an idiot.
This sir, is my bad news to you. You done have a moron for a son.
You see, after the computer conversion, pinwheel didn't create a $400.00 computer from a $4500.00 one, he created a $400.00 computer from a $5000.00 one, because he bought all the other pieces on top of the G5. He wouldn't have created a $18,000 Kia out of the Benz, he created an $18,000 car out of a $70,000 investment.
Now unless your last name is "Bush", vapid stupidity like this is usually reason enough in some cultures to have your son castrated. I'm sure he's very cute, but stupidity like this should not be allowed to spread. Because chances are little airhead will someday take the family cow to the market and trade it for a handful of warm luncheon meat and in other cultures, it's best to just cull the kid and make a new one. But I am hoping that in the case of Andy, we have is a case of a very short-sighted chump instead of a perfect example of why siblings should not breed.
My advice would be to find a nice leather belt from your collection, stretch out, get limber, then beat his ass until both you, your wife and any available Mac users in the area are simply too tired to continue. Rest, then repeat. Continue until everyone is satisfied they may have knocked some sense into this boy.
You see, today it's ruining a perfectly good $4500.00 Macintosh, but without corrective action, tomorrow he might just screw up a new Mercedes, screw up your thriving business or screw up your investment portfolio.
Life's too short to let kid ruin your life through a long series of heartbreaks and disappointments.
Please beat him and get back to us with any positive results.
Yours truly,
The Mac Public
Note:
Wally doesn't really advocate the beating of people over most stupid stunts.
Follow-up:
After this story broke, the publisher of the site claimed that this was all a joke. Andy, the dumbass in the article, had a friend who lived next door who was an Apple tech and just so happened to have an extra G5 case laying around. This was at the same time that the G5 was so scarce, there was no such thing as an extra case laying around. Apple was doing everything it could to meet production and keep up with demand.
I still maintain this story is true. Andy is a dumbass and a bad liar.
