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Consider the plight of the size queen

January 07, 2004

Lately I have been thinking of the plight of size queens. Those unique individuals that insist that size of certain appendages mean very much to them.

I recently had a conversation with a size queen friend of mine who lamented that she found a man that was more than adequate in every way except in a physical sense. He was hung like a bull--a gerbil. She could never sleep with him again and therefore dating was out of the question.

I was thinking this friend was a cold-hearted bitch, then another friend lamented the same woe with a man she was no longer going to be dating for the same reason! Then in a conversation with yet another admitted size queen, she explained she could never sleep with a guy that was too small to be considered legal size. Of course she's on a dry spell that has lasted so long, I think she is technically a virgin again.

Instead of thinking I know a bunch of cold, heartless women, I started thinking about what it must be like to be a size queen. None of these girly girls are truly heartless, they'd try to eek out a platonic friendship with their mighty midget ex-lovers, but they also know they would always shudder when they thought of them in "that way". I feel some sympathy for them, even though most of them would never date me. I'd say they were stupid and misguided, but they seem to know all of my bad habits already. Well except the part where I sit backwards on the toilet because it is easier to read that way, but that's another story, and I just made it up.

What do you think, do size queens deserve sympathy?

Are you a size queen?

Let me know how you feel

and if you're single...

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