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Fun with pumpkins

October 31, 2003

Last night I was attempting to have a low key evening hanging out at the bar. But I can only go so long before the bad genes in my body conspire to make me do something silly. Last night was no exception.

Lately I have been taking a regular lighter, holding down the gas button and letting it flow into a void like a glass candle holder. Imagine the red ones you see in bars. You can fill those up with butane for a few seconds (with an unlit wick of course), flick your lighter and watch the gas ignite. It burns on the surface for a while, then slowly sinks into the glass candle holder, then * poof* the glass candle holder explodes sending shards of glass everywhere. I'm serious when I say I made up that last part.

The problem is what do you do when you are out with your drinking buddies and you step up the level of fun just a notch? What happens when these are the same inventive pyros that help you get into all sorts of trouble and they are likkered up just like you?

So we started looking for other fun things you can do with a lighter or perhaps a full can of butane. We found a doozy that involves a pumpkin.

Take a can of butane and discharge it into a carved pumpkin. A few seconds will do fine. Using the hand you didn't douse in butane, flick your lighter and watch the pumpkin erupt in flames. The pumpkin doesn't explode, but for a few tiny seconds, it looks great! I ended up doing it a few times until I ran out of butane. It was the most fun I have had with fire since something else I can't talk about until the statute of limitations expires.

There are two things to remember. First, if you really did this and you ignited the pumpkin with a lighter, the fire ball would envelop an area that might include your unprotected hand. Second, you should never attempt an action like this without a trained safety professional like a Fire Marshal supervising your actions. In fact, I never did this. I just made it up.

The true story of what we were doing has to remain undefined at this point. At least in print. All I can say is that yesterday was a fine day. One of the drawbacks having a great story to tell is sometimes you cannot always tell the story. Some stories have to remain to be related while sitting at a bar, around a fire, anyplace where you feel there is a very low chance of the story being read back to you in court.

Which is why I always advise attempting any tomfoolery like this outdoors. It lessens the chance you might end up losing the damage deposit and perhaps the entire trailer.

Happy Halloween

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