Living the Wally Lifestyle
Trash talking 9-1-1
March 04, 2001
I got a call on my cell phone today. The number was blocked, but I could clearly recognize the voice. It was the host of the party I attended the night before.
"Hello, this is 9-1-1. We are returning a call you made."
Buddy Foley cannot disguise his voice to me. So I went along with the lame joke. Well hello 9-1-1, how are you. Is today a special emergency day?"
"Sir, we are calling you back because you made a phone call to 9-1-1. We are checking on the emergency nature of your call."
"Well," I replied in my best nellie and seductive voice, "I am sitting here and I am all glittery and dirty and I feel all sparkly. I think I really need a hot bath."
"Well, this is 9-1-1 and you pocket dialed us and you need to turn off your phone. You are tying up an emergency line."
"Well, you bad boy, maybe you could come down here and spank me or just wash my back?"
I laughed my ass off. I got Buddy good. He wasn't going to pull the wool over my eyes by claiming he was 9-1-1, no sir. Do not try and fuck with me, I am too clever even for the likes of Buddy Foley.
So I started to get a sneaky suspicion in my mind. Was the caller really Buddy? I couldn't call him back since the number was blocked. So out of curiosity, I checked my call log to see the most recent numbers.
The last number I dialed was, heh heh heh, 9-1-1. Of all the dumb luck, I received a call from a 9-1-1 operator on the line that sounded exactly like Buddy Foley, so I decided to act like a dick because I thought he was screwing around with me. Then I realized to my horror that I was talking shit to a real live 9-1-1 operator! Like their lives are not bad enough that I am busy acting like a horny bottom looking for some action from a new daddy. I feel like a real jerk!
So what am I supposed to do? I'd like to call and apologize, but the number was blocked. I don't want to call 9-1-1 again, because I would be tying up an emergency line once again.
So my task for the week is to find out where I can contact 9-1-1 and explain what happened and send a sincere apology to the call operations center. I may get in trouble, I may get yelled at, but I have to show some sort of acknowledgement that I was acting inappropriately. If the number 9-1-1 came up on the call screen I would be very apologetic. It's a hard job they do and I really appreciate their hard work.
I was doing a good deed at the time, so maybe that evens out the crap I pulled, but I will send a letter of apology anyway.
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