Wide World of Pranks: Rant

How to get back at a neighbor selling their house

A few years ago I lived next to a really creepy guy and his wife. His chosen profession was to buy houses, remodel them and sell them at a profit. His side job seemed to be trying to piss off his neighbors in any way he could. He had a loud barking dog, he had a bitchy wife that would complain if I parked in front of his house.

At first, I was nice to them.

I used to try and be a good neighbor, but he would constantly reward my efforts by doing something to really piss me off. For instance, he needed help moving a port-a-potty used by his construction crew into the backyard. The reason is that he was renting a giant dumpster to clear out all the accumulated trash in his back yard. So I helped him move this eyesore into the back yard. I explained that I was happy to see the debris go since I was having a lawn party that weekend. So what does he do? He has the giant dumpster placed in our shared driveway. It was so big there was no way to walk around it! It took a call to the police to get the dumpster moved.

I decided I was going to get back at this jerk somehow, but how?

I thought about reporting him to the building inspector for any imagined slight, but after a little talk with the building inspector one day, I found out that my neighbor already annoyed the building inspector so much that he was going out of his way to get in my neighbors face.

A few months later my neighbor put his house on the market for $445,000.00. the house was way overpriced, but the good news is that one day, very soon, he would be gone. It was during the set up for the Open House that I realized how I would get this guy.

I trashed my yard.

I emptied my garage, my basement and my storage unit to do a cleaning project. I took out every can of paint, every 2 x 4, every box of paperwork and strew them everywhere. I unfolded old painting tarps to air out, I had all my camping gear scattered about and I left it.

People walked into his open house, walked to the back of the house to see the back yard, saw my white trash junk pile and quickly turned and left. I watched with great joy as people would drive up, look around and leave.

A week goes by. Other houses in the area are entering into bidding wars. His house doesn't have a single offer. My other neighbor is horrified by the mess. She asked me what was going on. I explained it all. She just smiled and told me it serves him right.

Week two starts and my evil neighbor doesn't have a single offer and the mess is getting worse. He has politely asked me to clean up the mess. I politely told him I would get around to it. The real estate agent politely asks me if he can offer to have the mess cleaned. I politely decline. My neighbor moves out the house into an apartment so the house can be staged to look better.

My neighbor must have been in a real financial pickle, because he started dropping the price of the house. It went from $445,000 to $435,000. Still no takers. The price drops to $420,000. Traffic to the house picks up. Every buyer, every single one walks into the house, looks at the ground floor, looks out the window, sees the dump next door and heads for their car. The house price drops lower.

Finally my neighbor decides to do something about the situation. He starts building a fence high enough to block the view of my yard. It will not help much since he can only build the fence 7' high. He also has to off-set it from the property line due to an easement that he knows I will check and his buddy the building inspector. So my neighbor builds a fence that divides his own yard in half. The beauty of this is that my yard now looks even bigger.

So at the end of the third week, my neighbor drops the price of the house to $385,000.00 and starts building the fence. I watch his progress carefully. He finishes the fence on Thursday afternoon and heads to the apartment he is renting. Just after he leaves I start cleaning the yard. I have the entire place organized and cleaned up before the night is through. To be honest, I was sick of looking at it. When my neighbor arrives Friday afternoon, my lawn is spotless, mowed and in the same condition it was in before this whole debacle started.

Later that day a very nice woman came by to look at his house. She loved it, she loved my yard and I liked her. She had a good sense of style. She put an offer in on the house the next day.

I got a new neighbor I really like and she got a $60,000.00 discount on her house.

Do you have a neighbor selling their house that is an absolute jackass? Use this as a template on how to strike back at them where it really hurts. In the pocketbook!

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