Three dogs are sitting in the Humane Society shelter. The first dog asked the second dog, "So, why are you in here?"

"Well, I took a dump on the masters new carpet and he stepped in it in his bare feet, so I am here to be destroyed."

The first dog says, "boy, life can sure be rough. I'm in here because I pissed on the kitchen floor. the master slipped on it and broke his leg! So he sent me here to be destroyed."

The second dog says, "You know, I can't believe it. That's so unfair!"

Then the first dog turns to the third dog and asks him why he was in the kennel. "Well, the master's wife was getting ready to take a bath. She was naked and she bent over the bathtub to adjust the water and it looked so perfect I couldn't help myself. So I grabbed her from behind and I "did" her."

The first dog says, "Oh that is so cruel! So they are putting you to sleep for that?"

The dog says, "Oh no, I'm only here to get my nails clipped."