Guy goes bear hunting for the first time. He gets up at the crack of dawn and is looking over the bear trail and sure enough, the sun comes up and he sees this bear. He squeezes off a round. Dirt flies. A twig falls off a tree and stuff like that. He goes running down the hill, looking all over the place, but he can't find the bear anywhere. Next thing he knows, he feels a tap on his shoulder and behind him is the bear.

The bear looks at him and says "You're new here, aren't you pal? Well we have some rules here. One of them is that if you shoot at me and miss, I get to make love to you." The bear bends the Guy over and the bear has his way with him.

The Guy is furious and humiliated, not to mention his ass hurts. So he goes to the gun shop and gets the best bear gun money can buy. He adds a scope and a clip of bullets and goes back to the hill and sees the bear the next morning. He shoots -- boom, boom, boom. Small trees are falling over. Rocks are flying. He walks down to the bottom of the hill, but he can't see the bear. He feels a tap on his shoulder and it's the bear. The bear says, "Oh you're back! Well, you know the routine." Boom. Bear does it to him again.

Now the Guy is livid. He drives back to the gun store and gets a 50 caliber machine gun. He sets the machine gun up with a laser scope and goes back out to the forest.

He spends all night up on the hill waiting for the bear to show up. Just after the crack of dawn, the bear comes down the hill into range and he pulls the trigger and lets the lead fly. Trees are falling over, logs are splintering and tracers are boouncing everywhere. Finally the dust from the carnge is so bad he scene is obliterated. The Guy tiptoes down the hill looking for the bear. He can't find a trace of the bear anywhere.

Sure enough the bear taps him on the shoulder and says, "Hey Pal, are you sure you're here for the hunting?"